April 24,2009

My mom played tennis today. That was a big step forward.

She called me up yesterday and said she wanted to play tennis tommorow and to sign us up for and hour at the courts. I said "really, are your serious?" She said really. So we played doubles.

Her fingers hurt like normal but not too bad. Her balance is still off which prevented her from running but she hit the balls fine and served fine. Not as good as she use to but the point is she did it. She actually played almost a whole set of tennis.

She still does her pool walks and exercises five days a week and she thinks that is making her stronger.

overcoming a fear

This is Raina's essay she had to write to get into the AP programs in highschool.

My Christmas gift to myself was to confront my lingering fear of death.

My grandmother was in the hospital this past Christmas. I love my grandma so much. I have always thought that she was very healthy for a woman of her age. She plays tennis four days per week. She works full time at a company she started by herself over twenty years ago. We get together every Sunday for movies and cards. She is a big part of my life.

When I found out she was in the hospital with an uncommon disease and in a lot of pain, it freaked me out. I thought I was going to loose her forever and never be able to talk to her again. I wanted to see her so bad but I feared I would not be able to stand seeing her in that hospital bed all wrenched in pain. This really disturbed me. My mom kept asking me to go to the hospital and I kept finding excuses as to why I couldn’t. My mom sensed something was wrong so we talked about it. She explained how much it would mean to grandma if I paid her a visit. She said, “Your smile will warm her heart.”

I was nervous the next day when I went with my mother and visited with my grandma. She was in a lot of pain and it felt uncomfortable. I felt sad for her. I held her hand and she gave me the biggest smile. I know how much it meant to her.

Afterwards I realized my fears are much bigger when they are just thoughts in my head. Being in the hospital was not pleasant but I kept my grandmothers well being in my thoughts allowing my fears to take second place.



“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, it’s that we are powerful beyond measure.” Marianne Williamson


What the quote means to me is that we aren’t afraid that we aren’t good enough or that we can’t do something, we are afraid of what we can do.

If we are powerful and achieve a lot, maybe it will push others away from us. Will others feel like they are not good enough and shy away? Or will they try to sabotage us because they are jealous. What we need to realize is our being great inspires others to shine their light too.